performing Britney Spears's "Everytime"

Pro: A dreadlocked, grill-wearing, tattooed James Franco (as Alien) performing Britney Spears's "Everytime" poolside at a white baby grand piano while shotgun-toting, neon ski-masked, college-aged girls gone bad dance innocently around him in the south Florida sunset. 'Nuff said. Why? Because as Alien so eloquently put it, "This is the f---in' American dream." Spring break fo'ever! —Matt Whitfield